It Don’t Come Easy

I’ve given myself an hour. Sebastian is expected home a few minutes after my deadline  and Mick a quarter hour after that. So an hour is what I have. The title of this entry is a quote from my favorite Beatle, Ringo. Why Ringo? He’s not especially talented nor does he excel at craft (he’s the ONLY drummer in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame who can’t do a drumroll) but Ringo has two things- gratitude and an easy breezy way with the public and the press. A mindset and a skill I find wholly relatable.



‘If you’re big enough to take it.’

It’s been rough lately. Money is tight. Family (the ex, MIL, SIL, absent child) are lobbing grenades. My trip overseas is delayed and uncertain for the most harrowing of reasons. (Am I even going? Doubtful. And British Airways crazily wants to keep ALL of the ticket purchase.) “Why, of course, BA, I’m delighted to DONATE $1,378 to you for transportation I won’t use! It’s not like I could pay bills with that money! Or do anything else with it! You just go ahead and keep 5 months’ of paychecks, a mighty corporation like you can certainly use the dough more than an hourly numb-nuts like me can!”

Fuck you, British Airways. Fuck you for keeping my money and for not understanding that sometimes Life has its own agenda. I’m certain my friend who was going to give me a bed is far more concerned about your quarterly profits than her firstborn dying. Ye gods.

Work? What a joy. Hours are cut. My boss has gone whack-a-doo again and makes my workday a tottering anxiety fest. And now that we’re coming up on the hot months every goddamn order has 3+ cases of WATER. “Yo! You have been suckered! You do NOT need to purchase bottled water! The shit you buy is the SAME exact water that comes out of your TAP!”

For real.

Stop being Coca-Cola’s dupe. Stop spending your extremely hard-earned coin on bottled water. Get a reusable bottle (ie: a grown-up’s sippy cup) and fill that thing from your TAP. For real. It’s the same damn water only it’s free.

Would I lie to you? Or steer you wrong? No. If you were in danger from pollutants or whatever, I’d tell you. Use your tap water, my friends. It’s all good. Unless you’re in Flint.

Recently I’ve had people on the sales floor tell me they’d use our service but they didn’t want to ‘get stuck with BAD FOOD’. I was appalled. These misguided people would elaborate about how we’d pass off cold cuts, meats, and produce that were about to expire and/or covered in bruises and brown spots.


Shop From Home isn’t the drive-thru at McD’s, you knuckleheads, our service is all about having repeat customers. It’s about bringing our clients THE BEST our store has to offer. I’ve assured dozens of inquisitive potential customers that my clients get far better produce and meat than my family does. Stone truth.

Lyme, Lyme, Lyme…

Yes, I am battling my way out of Lyme round 4 (5?). In any case I am tired and frustrated. Sebastian is doing great. His course of antibiotics passed swiftly and without major side-effects. Me? Not so much. Every joint in my body is aching and I’m am honestly exhausted. Better me than my kid, but fuck Lyme in all its incarnations.

This is where I’m at. Along with a bacterial infection that leads to chronic illness I’ve had to push back against the black dog. Another happy by-product of Lyme. Right now I feel like THE worst mother, friend, wife EVER. I feel like no one could ever love me because I’ve been so absent.

I haven’t been there enough for anyone.


Your inadequate pal, ~LA




4 thoughts on “It Don’t Come Easy

  1. You are NOT inadequate. You are dealing with a shitload of stuff not the least of which is the evil Lyme monster. Take care of yourself…. I am glad Sebastian is doing well… take care of yourself. Let Sebastian take care of you. It is the weird of getting older… If you need anything I am not that far away {{HUGS}} BTW, FUCK British Airways. Can you use your Lyme dx as a medical out to save your cash?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was going to suggest, as did GBW, that you get a letter from your doctor to reclaim your airfare. I hope you can push through the black dog’s breath and look at the love in Sebastian’s and Mick’s eyes, and recognize that to all of your friends, fleshy and virtual. If you are breathing, you are enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. UUUGGH, what can I say? Try to remember that you are loved. Try to remember that real friends don’t leave in a huff because you hit another low point. It happens. We’re human. For awhile this past year, I hit so many low points, I thought I’d somehow managed to find the life-equivalent of a rollercoaster that only ever goes down. Thank you for taking the time to keep us informed even though you’re tired and depressed and sick. Hang in there, Dear. *HUG*


  4. I’m sorry to hear that LIfe has raised its sucky head again and given you more than you need to handle. I’m glad to hear that young son is doing well. I don’t understand why the ex and the MIL, SIL and #1 son can’t get their own life and stay out of yours, but….that’s the way of the world. Kick em when they’re down.
    I hope your trip will still be in the works at a later day. At the very least, the airline should give you credit towards another trip….did you go through a travel agent who might be able to help? Hope things start getting better.


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